My Heartache

Well...I found out that I was expecting the very beginning of April. I was extremely excited and so was my significant other. We were REALLY looking forward to it. I'm not a superstitious person so I told my family and some of my friends about it. Now a few days before my 1st appointment (which I would've been exactly 8wks) I miscarried. DEVASTATING...we all were so excited. This would've been the first grandchild. My first born and his first born. I definitely wanted to be able to say that I had a successful pregnancy even though I have Sickle Cell Anemia. I honestly didn't think that losing someone, even if it was "just an embryo/fetus" could be soooooooooooooooo painful. I've been holding up pretty good but when I do breakdown...it's horrible. Trying to figure out where to start. Do I want to try again? If so, when? I haven't even really resumed life as I know it....besides eating, sleeping, and maybe leaving the house for food. I even deleted my Twitter cause I started to vent on there about it, smh. If anyone has any suggestions or anything to share w/ me feel free. Surprisingly, while typing all of this...I didn't shed not one tear. Progress maybe??