Been So Long!!

It's been almost 2 full years since I've posted. Shame on me! Well here's a fast update for future me & to anyone who may come across this. My Sickle Cell crisis have decreased tremendously (thank God)  !! In the span of 2 years I've become a wife and I've started working again.

However, when I started "blogging" it was to help me heal emotionally from a miscarriage. Well, since then, I've had 2 more miscarriages. One in May & one in October 2013. Both pretty much the same, close to the 8 week mark. I didn't even bother going to the hospital in October, I was pretty numb to it. But guess who's back up & trying AGAIN?!

Switched doctors, changed my perspective, and decided that if all else fails I'll just talk my husband into adopting! So far, I've started the 1st steps (Blood work, HSG, sonogram) and I figure out what's next and all of my results on the 28th. Praying for the best!

Anyway...this blog will be my "release" and hopefully I can inspire & be inspired. I'll try to cover life as I know it, good and bad! Toodles!

The Avengers

So I went out for the first time since my miscarriage to see the Avengers....GREAT movie. It may sound weird but I heal by being busy and going out yesterday really helped me a bit. Baby steps are better than no steps. I also went to this place called Crab House...I'll never return, lol.  I'll never betray Joe's Crab Shack again. Funny how everyone heals differently and I'm grateful to have someone as great as Mell in my corner...he's been putting my feelings before his own and I know he's just as hurt about everything that has happened lately. We've talked and had each other truly express how they feel and what we want to do in the future. We both started our healing process together by simply starting our day with a movie, lol. I'm happy!!

My Heartache

Well...I found out that I was expecting the very beginning of April. I was extremely excited and so was my significant other. We were REALLY looking forward to it. I'm not a superstitious person so I told my family and some of my friends about it. Now a few days before my 1st appointment (which I would've been exactly 8wks) I miscarried. DEVASTATING...we all were so excited. This would've been the first grandchild. My first born and his first born. I definitely wanted to be able to say that I had a successful pregnancy even though I have Sickle Cell Anemia. I honestly didn't think that losing someone, even if it was "just an embryo/fetus" could be soooooooooooooooo painful. I've been holding up pretty good but when I do breakdown...it's horrible. Trying to figure out where to start. Do I want to try again? If so, when? I haven't even really resumed life as I know it....besides eating, sleeping, and maybe leaving the house for food. I even deleted my Twitter cause I started to vent on there about it, smh. If anyone has any suggestions or anything to share w/ me feel free. Surprisingly, while typing all of this...I didn't shed not one tear. Progress maybe?? 

A little about self *trial blog*

Well...I'm 26. Happily taken . I'm a sickle cell warrior. Like some people, I'm still just trying to find my "purpose" or whatever it is that will make me 100% whole...if that's really possible. I'm new to blogging and I don't know why I've waited so long considering I always said I could write one hell of a book about my life :) Here I go.